gnosis
straight-up shāmbhavopāya, bro
I was going to share a piece with you I had titled “traitor: you little weasel of a thought”.
Mawed between my teeth, the concept of hope, I shook the living daylights out of it. You are useless, I drooled all over it, when I hope, I admit that I don’t believe.
I was going to share with you the meaning of elpis (ἐλπίς) which in English translates to hope but means more so a confident expectation rather than whatever wishy-washy wish-upon-a-wishing star thing it has become in modern vernacular.
I was going to go deep into the apostle Paul’s 1 Corinthians 13:13, “And now these three remain: faith, hope, love. But the greatest of these is love,” and point out that what he meant was: faith the pledge, FAITH the expectation, and love. Love being the greatest, and that maybe... love is actually the only thing that remains. Faith is intrinsic to love.
I was going to insinuate via something compact and aesthetically wonderful, full of Easter eggs both in my writing and the cover art I upload on Substack, that there’s no room for doubt when you know. Perhaps I would add in a little joke as to how St. Paul was like ChatGPT and needed things in triads despite the redundancy lol.
I cracked my knuckles, fingers hovered over the keyboard. Ready to put hope on trial.
Hmm.
I put the laptop aside.
I ate, journaled, FaceTimed, and whatever else.
Pondered on how love feels like warm, soft sunlight.
And then, finally, I came back to my waiting document.
The blinking cursor and I stared at each other. Uhh.
Huh. The storm had passed.
I just didn’t have the anger, that formidable fuel I was banking on, to finish it.
The anger got completely metabolized.
Because when you know, you know. Why burn in anger, when I could just be still.
If I could put my forehead to yours, a smile on my face, and just let you absorb what I realized, through woo-woo osmosis, I think that would be a better way to transmit all this than appealing to your mind via the written word.
But I love words so here’s a little gift: praxis as breath.
see ya on the new moon xo